After the death of my brother, my stress and anxiety levels were high. I spent the following weeks living with the fear and dread that my younger brother Robert wouldn’t be able to handle the situation and constantly checking on him. As someone who struggles with two auto-immune disorders, I know the importance of managing my stress, which was why I was not surprised to wake up in agony a few weeks ago. I woke up with 2 large oral ulcers and my hands and feet hurt so bad, typing on the computer at work was brutal. So, to the doctor I went, securing a prescription for steroids. The Medrol Dose Pack provided me with about two weeks of relief. I still had my usual never-ending sciatica and hip pain, but otherwise I was feeling great.
Things at work were looking up. My two main clients both offered extended contracts and positions and two of my intermittent clients both approached me with new projects. I was busy, which was just what I wanted to be. When you love what you do, putting in the work can be fun, especially some coding projects I worked on, they were like puzzles and I love a good challenge. My clients in Montana, Behavioral Health Consulting Solutions are amazing and working with them brings me so much happiness. They are always grateful, and I truly believe they will revolutionize behavioral health in the future. They offered me the role of CFO with their company, still remote and how can I say no to such an amazing group of people. This role will challenge me, and I am up for the challenge.
I finally had enough clients and security that I filed my business license, opened my business checking account, and met with a CPA to discuss the future. All of this was exciting and terrifying at the same time. To celebrate a weekend at the beach, my happy place was planned with my best friend Jim and my best fur baby Hercules.
To start my mini vacation, I left work early on Friday to enjoy a two-hour massage and chiropractor appointment with the best clinician ever, Dr. Sun Bear at Sun Bear PAWS in Eugene. Herc and I enjoyed our favorite Pegasus pizza for dinner and packed for the beach. Jim picked us up Saturday morning and we were off. Herc spent the entire trip sneaking between us from the back seat so that he could back seat navigate. Our first stop was Sunset Beach near Coos Bay. When we arrived, it was cloudy and overcast, but our timing was perfect because within 10 minutes we had gorgeous blue skies.
My happy place is sitting on a beach and watching the waves or playing with my dog as we chase them. Herc and I spent 30 minutes playing and that was about as much as my hips would allow before I was hurting pretty bad. We headed back to the car. We ordered lunch from The Firehouse in Florence, our favorite restaurant. I love their chowder. Since we had Herc we just picked it up and headed to check in at our hotel, The Fireside in Yachats. We devoured our seafood platters. Jim enjoyed some college football and Herc and I were off to explore the rocky cliffs. Great pictures and videos were obtained, and we spend a good amount of time sitting on a bench just enjoying being at the beach.
After enjoying an hour outside we headed into town and did some exploring. Still full from our late lunch we decided to just order our favorite desserts from one of our favorite places at the coast and have them for dinner. Cheesecake and chocolate cake for Jim, all the Crème Brule and an apple cream pie for me, I am addicted to their Crème Brule, but also was curious about the apple pie with sour cream filling. It was unique and tasty. A few drinks and lots of dessert later, an early bedtime was needed.
I woke up Sunday, not feeling great. My tongue ulcer was back and hurting and I was sore. We had breakfast at the beach, and I was able to play with Herc some more and he even got some off leash time. By the time we headed back to the car I was having trouble walking and Jim was not happy with me for overdoing it. All I could say was that Hercules deserves it, he is the best boy and is always there for me, so he needed the play time. We headed up the coast to Depot Bay so I could go to their winery. It is the only place I buy wine, 2 or 3 trips a year and I stock up. Plum, peach, blackberry, and other yummy wines were obtained.
We called it an early day as I was feeling worse by the minute. I proceeded to sleep pretty much the entire trip home. I was home by 3pm on Sunday and promptly slept until after 6 on the couch. When I am having an auto-immune flare or fighting any sort of infection my bodies natural defense is to sleep. On Monday my tongue was so painful and swollen I couldn’t talk, and it hurt to swallow. My lymph nodes in my jaw and neck were all swollen, and my entire body hurt. I was able to get into the doctor. I was fighting an ear infection and probably another flare up. So, antibiotics and another round of steroids for me. The tongue ulcers scare me the most. I had them biopsied three years ago when they first started and I was told it is an auto-immune reaction and they pretty much always show up when the pain does, as well as hair loss. However, this one has been hanging on for a while and was getting worse, knowing my mom was diagnosed with tongue cancer around the same age as I am now, and died from it, I always panic when my ulcers change pattern. So, on December 1st I will get another biopsy.
It is Wednesday now, and the pain and fatigue has decreased enough that I made it into the office today to be more productive. The swelling in my tongue thankfully is gone. I am hanging in there. I have my bad moments where I hate my body and I am just overwhelmed with pain and am not sure how I can deal with it, but at the same time, I am a happy and outgoing person. I hope everyday for a medical breakthrough or for new treatments that help, and I just keep pushing through. When I have really bad days, I have a comfy bed and an amazing dog who will give me all the cuddles I need. I have a great business and job and some amazing and supportive people in my life. Now I just need to plan for more time at my Happy Place.
